If you’re child is hearing ‘no’ a lot more from you than they’re hearing ‘yes’ then you’re on a road to ruin. After all, when we can do nothing, or at least it seems that way, we’ll often lash out and do many of those things we were told not to.
For young preschool and daycare children that haven’t developed their brains to the point where the consequences of doing something we shouldn’t haven’t been realized yet, well, this can lead to some problems. And the longer your child goes without the word ‘no’ having a pull on them, the far more likely it is they’ll get into trouble in school and possibly even later in life.
Discipline is a necessary ingredient for the recipe of life. Some deal with it better, sitting themselves down and doing exactly what they should, and what they’ve been told. For them ‘no’ simply means that they’ll be gratified later, and they have no problem putting something off or not doing it entirely.
Others have a harder time with this, and bridle at any idea of a disciplined routine. For them hearing the word ‘no’ means they can’t just not do this one thing, but they can’t do all things. And if that person is a child you might well have a temper tantrum on your hands. I hope you’re not in a department store right about now!
So how can you say ‘no’ without causing a ruckus or ruining your day? After all, sometimes saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’ is just easier, especially if you’ve had a stressful day. But who are you really helping there, if indeed anyone? Instead of kicking the can down the road for another day, try these simple strategies for saying ‘no’ to your preschooler effectively.
Find Alternatives to ‘No’
The less you have to use the word ‘no’ in your child’s presence the easier your day will be. After all, how do you feel when someone tells you you can’t do something you want? You probably get a little resentful, huh? Well, your child’s feeling the same way.
How about using some simple alternatives at times? Perhaps things like ‘let’s try this instead,’ ‘I have another really fun thing we can do,’ or ‘maybe later.’ This is still saying ‘no’ but it doesn’t quite have the same sting. But be careful not to leave yourself open to do something later that you don’t really want to do.
The Power of Your Eyes
The majority of our communication, about 78%, is non-verbal. We can get our message across just fine most of the time with gestures, eye contact, and body language. Just try traveling in a foreign country when you don’t know the language, you’ll get the idea!
So it should come as no surprise that you can say ‘no’ without actually ever having to utter the word. A strong look, your hands on your hips, and a slight frown will usually get your message across just fine. While you don’t have to have a Clint Eastwood ‘death stare,’ a look that says you mean business will go a long way in making your days less stressful.
Want to read more about Saying ‘No?’ Check out some of these great articles!
- 18 Ways to Say No Positively: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/parenting/discipline-behavior/18-ways-say-no-positively
- How to Say No (Without Saying No): http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/say-no-without-saying-no
- How to Be a More Assertive Parent: http://www.empoweringparents.com/saying-no-to-your-child-how-to-be-a-more-assertive-parent.php#